It must suck to be beautiful.
While being conventionally beautiful has many, many perks, it has several severe downsides, namely me.
There is something about beauty, in any form, that attracts attention automatically, without thought. Our minds make it comfortable, relaxing, even enjoyable, to rest sight on beauty. While staring at beautiful nature is acceptable, even recommended, staring at a beautiful person is rude and creepy. For some, it is even threatening. Having to live with such a curse must eventually warp your view of the world and your place in it.
So if you are conventionally beautiful, you have to attend with all the creepy, ugly people looking at you with large, sad eyes. We can’t help it. We fight it, but as soon as we let our guard down, we unconsciously gravitate to returning our sight to the beauty. It’s just more comfortable to look at when there’s nothing important to focus on. It takes considerable effort not to stare.
If offered a choice to gaze at a landfill or a waterfall, most would choose the waterfall. So, if presented with the option to stare at the decorations on the wall, decorations that have not changed in decades, or the beautiful person helping people at the register, our unconscious minds gravitate to the beauty. We catch ourselves, look away because it’s rude and creepy, but the moment our mind wonders, the eye’s drift right back without a thought.
The only time I catch someone staring at me it’s with malicious amusement or amazed bewilderment. But that’s what you get when you’re ugly. Beautifully people get rude, creepy, threatening looks; ugly people get jeering, pitiful, hurtful looks.
To use the common 1 to 10 scale of beauty, I’m guessing it’s best to be a five or six: not too ugly or beautiful to draw a lot of attention. However, I’m a 3; I might be able to cleanup to a 4. But that’s the highest I’ll ever achieve. I’m too ugly in and out to be hopeful; I want to be, but reality is unforgiving. I can only hope to be beautiful in my dreams.
I’m not seeking a pity party; I’m striving to be brutally honest. There’s no benefit lying to myself or others. The only relief I can hope for is knowing that the looks you get suck when you’re ugly, but it must also suck to be beautiful and get completely different looks.
Sorry if I stare. 😞